Spreading His Love by Glowing Softly

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

I see your pain. Your suffering. Your struggle. My heart breaks as I watch you. And I feel so helpless.

I pray each day that God shows me how to share His love with you ... How to reach you behind that wall you’re building. How to avoid being hurt by your prickly outer shell. How to not fall into the trap you’re setting for me - one where both my words and silence become weapons endorsing your negative views of self.

As I sit in prayer, again crying out to God for guidance, an image flashes before my eyes:

A dark room, with a dimly lit bulb.

An image, Lord?? 

That wasn't the sort of response I was hoping for. I wanted a more concrete answer. And so I cry out:

But You’re their Creator ... surely You know the exact steps I should take to reach my loved one. The specific tasks I could add to my To-Do List. Tasks that would ease the pain in their heart. I’d follow them perfectly, scratching them off one at a time. You know I’m good at that, God. You’ve watched me tackle that list for years. But You answer only with a vague image of a light bulb???

I hear no response, but again my head fills with the image of a dimly lit bulb.

Defeated, I stop arguing. Instead I sit with this image, giving Him the silent space I know He’s asking for ...

I slowly start to hear Him. His response is not audible: He’s whispering silently, into my heart: 

“My daughter, you’ve been shining with the light of my love. But if your shine is too intense, you’ll accentuate their darkness. Their eyes will hurt, and they'll look away, closing them tightly. If you’re too bright, they'll only retreat further, trying to escape the blinding light.

“Let your glow be soft. Barely perceptible, at first. Give them time for their eyes to slowly adjust. It will take a while for them to notice the glow of my love, as it slowly seeps through the cracks in the wall they've built. It will be even longer before they can stand to look at the light for any length of time. Longer still before they'll feel its warmth, and notice that gentle pull on their heart. The pull that will slowly result in a yearning to get closer.

“But that’s okay. Because My timing is perfect.

“Remember, also, if your shine is too bright you’ll burn out quickly, like a bulb that’s overused. And you must keep coming to me regularly, so My love can recharge you. Your bulb, even when lit dimly, will eventually go dark if you try to power it on your own.

“I see sometimes you want to hide your light from them. I know some days you feel that would be easier. But I need you to resist that temptation. Keep your light on, glowing softly. And keep trusting that I’m in charge. That I have a plan. And that I’m taking care of them.”

If I’m completely honest, I still want that list of step-by-step instructions. Checking off boxes seems easier than figuring out how to be a dimly lit bulb. 

But apparently, that’s not what the Lord has for me right now.

And so today, I’m hanging on to this image. Trusting that He’ll show me how to glow softly. In a way that is warm. And comforting. And inviting. 

Praying that He’ll help me to desire His plan more than my own, even when its hard. 

And praying that by staying close to Him, He’ll prevent me from burning out, while I wait, for His perfect timing.

___________________________

(blessed by these words? feel free to share, so you can bless others.)